The Jaeger Radio Drinking Game
That's right, movies have them, TV shows have them...hell, even presidential debates have them, and now, so does your radio. Here it is: "The Jaeger Radio Drinking Game." Hangin' out and listening to Jaeger on the weekend? Crack open a beer and join the fun*. Here are the rules:
1. Take 1 drink anytime I say my name (Jaeger).
2. Take 1 drink anytime you hear me mention an upcoming or past concert.
3. Take 1 drink anytime I mention free tickets.
4. Take 1 drink anytime you hear the Bone Rock Artist of the Week.
5. Take 2 drinks anytime you hear a caller on the air.
6. Take 2 drinks anytime I mention another Bone DJ.
7. Take 2 drinks anytime I mention 1077thebone.com
8. Take 2 drinks anytime I talk about the weather.
9. Take 3 drinks anytime I play a Boneyard B-side.
10. Drink an entire beer anytime you hear me hit the "dump" button.
* Please play The Jaeger Radio Drinking Game responsibly. If you feel that you are becoming, or may become, intoxicated beyond a responsible level while playing The Jaeger Radio Drinking Game, stop immediately. I am not responsible for your actions, or any trouble you may get into after playing this game. In other words, don't get hammered and do something stupid and then try to sue me.
A peek behind the microphone...
Top 20 Things Your Disc Jockey Is Most Likely Doing While The 15-Minute Live Version of "Freebird" Is Playing
1. Taking a smoke break out in front of the building.
2. Exactly. Number two. 'Nuff said.
3. Flirting with a random listener on the phone.
4. Taking an angry call from a listener about something stupid the DJ on before you said.
5. Getting hot-lined by the program director for something stupid you just said.
6. Surfing for porn on company computers.
7. Surfing for the latest rumors regarding that Led Zeppelin reunion tour.
8. Taking a call from someone asking what song that is you're playing (Dude, it's "Freebird").
9. Trying to shake a bag of chips out of the vending machine.
10. Making another pot of coffee.
11. Sleeping.
12. Running around the studio playing air-guitar.
13. Mooning the people in the office building next door from the studio window.
14. Worrying about getting fired (from my buddy Jake who does radio in Aspen).
15. Writing stupid lists.
16. Trying to figure out how to say what you want to say in your next break without incurring a fine from the FCC.
17. Having sex (Yeah, right.)
18. Cutting some commercials so you can leave as soon as your shift ends.
19. Recovering from partying too late after the concert the night before.
20. Daydreaming about being a rockstar (instead of just hanging out with them).
Jaeger's Money Saving Tips
The markets are crashing, gas prices are skyrocketing, and the economy is quickly headed south. In times like these, I figure it's time to turn to the experts to help us through these troubled times; and when it comes to living cheap on a limited budget, there is no greater expert than your radio disc jockey. So, as a public service, here are some tricks I've learned that will help you save money.
1. Listen to the radio. It's the only truly free entertainment left out there.
2. Moonshine your own booze.
3. Shower with a friend (yeah, it's a classic, but it's one of the greatest ways to save on your water bill)
4. Go to a museum on the free day. It's usually something like the first Tuesday of every month.
5. Find religion. They'll give you a free cracker and a sip of wine every Sunday, sometimes two or three times in the day.
6. Eat like a college student, and by that I mean ramen noodles. For extra flavor, add a packet of Taco Bell hot sauce.
7. Buy your alcohol in the greatest possible volume. Per ounce, a 12 pack is cheaper than a 6 pack, a sixer is cheaper than a 24 ounce can, and a 24 ounce can is cheaper than a 16-ounce tall-boy.
8. ...following rule #6, Buy your booze at a grocery store; it's cheaper than the corner liquor sto'.
9. Save on your electricity bill by turning off your heading and cooling. Wear an extra sweater inside during the winter; go nude in the summer.
10. Hit the sperm bank. Dude, they pay you to do what you're doin' anyway.
11. Sneak your own booze into the bar. If a flask is too obvious, empty out an old cologne spray bottle and fill it up with peppermint schnaps. Tell people it's breath spray.
12. Grow your own... vegetables.
13. Go spare-changin' in the couch.
14. Buzz all your hair off and then grow it out. You won't have to spend money on a haircut for the next two years and we can bring back the traditional long-haired rocker look.
15. Find all the wineries in your area that do free tasting. Visit them all, get hammered without spending a dime.
16. Drink at mexican restaurants. Free chips and salsa is another way to save on food costs.
17. Become a gigolo.
_ Step 1. Save up some money.
_ Step 2. Buy a nice shirt.
_ Step 3. Find a rich woman (I suggest hanging around Walnut Creek for _ this)
_ Step 4. Treat her right, and let her be your sugar-mama.
18. (a variation on rule # 17) Find a girlfriend who is either a security guard at a major concert venue, or a bartender.
19. Buy a monkey. Teach him pickpocketing skills... and drink-stealing skills.
20. Make use of your local public library.
21. Go inside to the bank teller for withdrawals and other transactions, or get cash when you go to the grocery store - it's two bucks every time you use the friggin' ATM, and besides, it's because of those f**kers at the bank that we're in this damn mess in the first place; who wants to give them even TWO more dollars?
22. Instead of buyng flowers to give your girlfriend (or prospective sugar-mama/bartender/security guard), clip them from a neighbor's yard. But make sure it's at least a few blocks away so she doesn't figure out where you got them from.
23. We live in the bay area. There are plenty of universities around. Take part in as many paid studies that Cal, UCSF, USF, or any one else, are offering that you can.
24. Find a local bar, or rec. center with a free pool table. Learn pool skills. Become a shark. Learn to hustle.
25. Find a better paying job at cumulus jobs.com (Ha! how's that for a cheap plug!)
26. If you can't afford to go out drinking, but don't want anyone to know it, bring a little bottle of yellow food coloring with you to the bar. Order a water. Squeeze a little food coloring in there. Tell people you're drinking a pilsner, or some other light-colored beer.
27. Ride a bicycle.
28. Buy generic
29. Learn to roll your own cigs.
30. Forget rolling. Use a pipe, or a bong - you'll save $ on papers.
31. Use matches. They're free. Every little bit helps, even the money you'll save on not buying lighters, especially if you've friends who are lighter thieves.
32. Downgrade from ganj to mex. Sometimes you gotta make sacrifices, man; or just buy in bulk.
33. Harvest the cans and bottles from public recycling bins and turn them in for cash (should I be embarrassed that my roommate and I actually did this in college?)
34. Every woman says she likes long romantic walks on the beach. So forget the expensive dinner and take her to the beach. That s**t is free! Bring a bottle of your bulk-purchased booze. If you really want so save money, meet in the evening after dinnertime. You can buy her breakfast if she's still there in the morning. That way your meal purchase will have been worth it.
35. Shop at the thrift store. The retro look is back in style anyway.
36. ...on that note, go up into the attic and take out any old concert shirts that you don't wear anymore and put them up for sale on E-bay for a bunch of money. You know that Stryper "Live in '87" shirt that you've got? Some hipster will pay top dollar for it because it's vintage and "ironic."
37. Drink inexpensive wine - without looking like it.
_ Step 1. Buy expensive bottle of wine. Drink. Keep cork.
_ Step 2. Buy a case of 2-Buck Chuck (remember, bulk purchases)
_ Step 3. Fill expensive wine bottle with 2-Buck Chuck.
_ Step 4. Serve to guests. If they complain, loudly echo their sentiments _ _ and gripe that "it must've been a bad bottle."
_ Step 5. Save expensive wine bottle.
_ Step 6. Repeat.
38. Save money on laundry by hanging your clothes to dry.
39. Take any cd's you don't regularly listen to, rip them into your computer, sell the cd's to your local used record store.
40. Learn magic tricks and use them to get people to buy you drinks at the bar (ex. "You want to see me pull a rabbit out of my hat? Ok, but first you have to buy me a beer. I don't perform for free").
41. Use your home phone for local calls. that way you're not using your minutes. Better yet, if you've got a cell phone plan with enough minutes, cancel your home phone alltogether.
42. Join the folks down at the pier fishing for dinner in the San Francisco Bay. Just kidding...Do you know how much pollution is in that s**t? I wouldn't trust it. Of course, if you live near cleaner waters, it might not be a bad idea.
43. Use towels or cloth napkins instead of paper towels.
44. Do household maintenance yourself. Though your ol' lady might not like it, tell her that with the money you save by not hiring a plumber or a handyman, you'll buy her a nice bottle of wine (see Tip #37).
45. Replace your lawn with a "Zen Garden." That way, you can save money on water and on gas for your lawn mower. Hell, you can even sell your lawnmower. Here's how to do it:
_ Step 1. Let lawn die.
_ Step 2. Drive to beach. Fill up truck with sand.
_ Step 3. Dump sand in front yard.
_ Step 4. Find 5 or 6 big rocks and put in yard.
_ Step 5. Use rake to make swirly designs in sand.
_ Step 6. Meditate.
46. If you just can't afford your rent or your mortgage anymore, put in your 30-days notice and buy a gym membership. That way, you can live out of your car and still have a place to shower and change every day.
47. 2 words: Malt Liquor. Why do you think it's popular in the ghetto? Because it's cheap! (buy in bulk, if possible - see rule #7)
48. Cancel your cable service, you can always watch YouTube (that Huey Cam s**t is hilarious!).
49. Cancel your internet service, you can listen to the radio for free.
50. If you are truly in dire financial straits and need to conserve every penny you can, then use Jaeger's C.P.O. method.
What is the C.P.O.? Cheapest Possible Option. Use it to help make decisions. ex. I want to buy a bottle of wine to drink tonight. Do I get the $10 bottle I like, or do I get the $5 bottle? The $5 bottle is the C.P.O. I want to go out and party tonight. Do I go out in The City, or stay in the East Bay and go to my local bar? The local bar is the C.P.O. Do I want the brand name can of beans, or do I want the generic can of beans? The generic can of beans is the C.P.O. Do I watch TV and keep paying my cable bill, or do I cancel my cable bill and listen to Jaeger on the radio? Listening to Jaeger on the radio is the C.P.O.